urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kiss_of_sins - - my happiness is all in you* - - my happiness is all in you* 2005-07-19T03:31:43Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kiss_of_sins:15007 2005-07-17T18:29:32Z 2005-07-19T03:31:43Z tears ive been trying so hard .. to fix everything with Nick .. but i make it worse and worse im trying for it to be like it was when we first met && i just keep screwng up .. why does this have to be .. i want him so bad ... i want him to care for me and love me .. why doesnt he .. i know why but im trying and why can't he see that why does he have to bitch about it over and over again .. i know i deserve it .. i really do but im trying to hard to make shit right again ... ive been doing everything he tells me to do .. i feel like a booty call everytime he wants to see me we do it and then he bitches and bitches im trying can't he see that why does he have to do this .. i just wish he would try just a little bit harder .. he still wants me right ?? cuz he puts up with me and he keeps giveing me chances .. but if loves me why doesn't he see that i am trying im doing evetyhing i can to trying to fix things with him .. i want him to much im not going to cheat on him again .. i dont want to all i want is him ... we made love the other day and it was incrsdable .. i have that feeing everything im with him and in talking to him why cant he see that i do want him and i not goign to screw with him again he's too important to me if i wnated to screw with him again why would i be doing all of this to just fuck it up again .. he doesn't know how much i love him or how much he means to me i wihs he would .. i wihs he would just put his gurad down for just one minute and notice all of what im trying to do and how much i love him and how much i want to be with him .. i want that feeling i get to stay that i get when im with him .. i want to get back with him so much ... i love him so much ... i just wish he would see that<br /><br />&hearts; Nikki